New Rochester domestic violence group offers a platform for women who suffer abuse to share their stories
By John Addyman
The picture tells it all.
See the faces. Appreciate the pain. Know the healing. Sense the strength. Understand the power. And marvel…how could they have done what they did? How do they stand there and look so great?
On Aug. 20, over 50 women gathered at the Roger Robach Community Center at Charlotte Beach in Rochester for the group photo you see here.
Every woman had been abused, in so many ways. Yet here they were, looking magnificent. Confident. Purposeful. Determined.
Tamesha Beckford, 47, organized this gathering.
She is a sister to each of those women, sharing all of the feelings and many of the same circumstances. Through a trail of tears and travail, she was inspired to help — and getting all those women together was a tangible example of that inspiration.
Because in one of her many discussions with the Almighty, she heard the call…in her car…on I-390…with Elton John singing on the radio.
“I’m still standing” is what Elton was singing and it crystallized Beckford’s thinking.
“This was in 2025 and I’m on 390 North going home. That song is one of my favorite songs,” Beckford said. “I’d had a heckuva day at work, which required me to be on my feet 95% of my time. So, when I got in my car, my body was tired and my feet were burning. The traffic was backed up. I turned on my radio, and ‘I’m Still Standing” came on. I’m just grooving, driving on my way home. And listening to it, I see this vision as clear as can be — while I’m on the expressway, I see a bunch of women getting together, in T-shirts and jeans and I say to myself, ‘Oh God, what do you want me to do with this?’”
“We talk a lot, God and me,” she said.
“The image wouldn’t go away. I knew at that moment God wanted me to do something. That was an assignment for me,” she added.
Beckford knew what the assignment was — to share a lesson she’d learned the toughest way possible, through years of emotional, physical and sexual abuse. And that lesson was, despite and after all she’d been through, she was still standing, and others could do it, too.
“You are so much more than what you’ve gone through” is her message to abused women and she’s building an “I’m Still Standing” movement around it.
The women in that picture can all list the degradations, the physical and emotional pain, the feelings of being lost and abandoned and the utter senselessness and anger they’ve gone through.
Yet there they are: still standing.
Beckford is gearing up to help. She had to help herself first.
“I’m healed, I’m stronger, I’m better because of going through the healing stages, getting the therapy, getting the help,” she said. “And having a small group of friends where I was able to be my true authentic self.”
I’m Still Standing “will be a platform for women to share their stories, to speak up, for them to say, ‘I don’t have to hide behind my pain anymore.’ I want other women to feel empowered, in the same manner that I’ve been empowered. I want to pass it along, to share,” she said. “There’s so much better on the other side of this. You can smile, you can stand, you can continue to persevere. Perseverance is powerful: many people can’t do that. I can say, ‘Look in a mirror: look what you did. People counted you out whether that was in your childhood, as a teenager, your adolescent years, or as an adult. It’s not the end of your story; it’s the start of a new chapter. Your book is still being written.”
She attended a women’s empowerment event in May, introducing the I’m Still Standing effort to the community at Village Gate Square.
“This is a time where you can look back and celebrate overcoming those obstacles in your life, the hardships, the struggles. Now this is a time of celebration. With pride. We’ve done the crying. We’ve shed our tears. We’ve mourned. Now is the time to say, ‘Wow! I can look back on that and say, that should have taken me out. But it didn’t. I’m still standing. I’m still here. That should have killed me. That situation…I should have lost my mind. I could have been on drugs to numb the pain. Thank God I wasn’t.’”
Beckford hosted a women’s conferences in 2019 and did another during the pandemic, in 2021, called “Shattering the Silence,” on Zoom.
“It was very successful. I had no idea of how successful it was going to be,” she said. “It turned out, a lot of people joined. We had more than 1,000 viewers.”
Her goal for the Aug. 20 event was to get 50 women together “to just celebrate, to connect, to share their stories. There’s something so powerful about women getting together in unity. This is to show the city of Rochester, our community, even our country, that unity is still possible, that out of a tragedy you can still experience triumph and victory that’s what this is about.”
Beckford and her movement will participate in the Willow Domestic Violence Center walk in October and she hopes to hold a woman’s retreat early in 2027 and looks to partner with other agencies.
“I want to open more resources to women in our community who may still be on their healing journey from domestic violence — Rochester is a gem of resources,” she added.
Noting that many women haven’t spoken openly about what they’ve suffered, she said, “I’ve met a lot of women who have said, ‘Wow! I’ve got a story similar to that,’ but they only open up once a conversation gets started with them. We have an opportunity to connect and network with other women — there are so many things I’ve learned just by going to little network events, socializing events. Yes, it comes from a place of personal testimony but it’s so much bigger than me.”
For more information on I’m Still Standing, call 585-752-0327 or email imstillstandingroc@gmail.com.