Why it happens and how you and your family can prevent it
By Mark Winsberg, M.D.
The holidays are often shown as joyful and exciting, but if you’re in recovery from substance use, this time of year can feel stressful and risky.
Holiday relapse is very common.
Understanding your triggers, noticing early warning signs and planning ahead can make the season safer.
With the right tools and the right support, you can stay steady and continue growing in your recovery.
Why Holiday Relapse Happens So Often
Many holiday events include alcohol—office parties, family meals or New Year’s celebrations. Even if you plan to stay sober, just being around alcohol or watching others drink can bring back cravings or old memories.
The holidays can also be emotionally difficult. Family relationships may be tense. Old disagreements may resurface. You might also feel pressure to create the “perfect” holiday, or you may struggle with loneliness or grief. Strong emotions like these can make cravings harder to manage.
Your daily routine might also get disrupted. You may take time off work, travel, stay up late or skip your regular recovery activities.
When your structure weakens, old habits can try to return.
Financial pressure—gifts, travel costs, holiday meals—can add even more stress.
None of this means you’ve failed. It means you’re human and dealing with a season that brings unique challenges.
Common Holiday Triggers
Everyone has personal triggers, but many people in recovery experience:
• Being around alcohol or other substances
• Stress from family conflict
• Feeling lonely or remembering past losses
• Lack of sleep or exhaustion
• Financial worries
• Disrupted routines (missing meetings, skipping exercise)
• Traveling to places linked to past substance use
Knowing your triggers ahead of time gives you a stronger chance of staying in control.
Warning Signs That You May Be Moving Toward Relapse
Relapse usually doesn’t happen suddenly. There are early signs to watch for, both for you and the people who care about you:
• Pulling away from support—skipping meetings or avoiding sober friends
• Changes in mood, like anger, anxiety or sadness
• Thinking about past use in a positive way (“It wasn’t that bad…”)
• Putting yourself in risky situations—bars, certain people, certain places
• Changes in sleep or appetite
• Increased secrecy or hiding your plans
• Losing structure—missing work or daily responsibilities
If you notice these signs in yourself, reach out for help. Shame pushes you toward relapse; support pulls you away from it.
Why Holiday Relapse Makes Sense
Addiction is a chronic disease—similar to diabetes or heart disease.
It can be managed successfully, but it never completely disappears.
Planning for relapse risk isn’t negative—it’s smart and realistic. It means you understand the long-term nature of the illness.
Just as someone with diabetes monitors their blood sugar more closely during the holidays (when sugary foods are everywhere), you need extra support, extra structure and extra planning when you’re surrounded by triggers.
Stress, disrupted routines, emotional ups and downs, and the constant presence of alcohol can all interact with the changes addiction has made in your brain. Cravings can return even after long periods of sobriety. Seeing relapse risk clearly and honestly helps you take action early—before a slip becomes something bigger.
How You Can Plan Ahead to Protect Your Recovery
Planning ahead is the strongest way to protect yourself. Consider:
• Plan for each event. Know what you’ll say if someone offers you a drink. Bring your own non alcoholic drink.
• Have an exit strategy. Make sure you can leave quickly if needed—drive yourself, use a rideshare or ask a friend to be “on call.”
• Stay connected to support. If you go to mutual support meetings such as AA, attend extra meetings. Call your sponsor. Keep therapy appointments.
• Protect your routine. Prioritize sleep, meals, exercise and self-care.
• Travel wisely. If family visits are stressful, stay in a hotel or shorten the trip.
• Avoid high-risk situations. It’s fine to skip events that don’t feel safe.
• Make sure to continue taking your regular medications, especially anti craving medicines like Naltrexone or Antabuse.
• Create new traditions. Volunteer, do outdoor activities or host an alcohol-free gathering.
• Be honest. Let trusted people know how they can help you stay steady.
Important Advice for Family Members
If you’re a loved one or someone in recovery, your support can make a real difference. Here are ways you can help:
1. Don’t pressure them to drink “just one.”
Even well-meaning comments like “Come on, it’s the holidays!” can be harmful.
2. Ask how you can support them.
A simple question: “What can I do to make this easier for you?”—goes a long way.
3. Help them stick to their routine.
Encourage sleep, meetings, exercise and healthy meals.
4. Watch for warning signs without judging.
If you notice mood changes, isolation or risky behavior, approach them gently and privately.
5. Offer an “escape plan.”
Let them know they can pull you aside at any time if they need help leaving a situation.
6. Avoid old conflicts during the holidays.
This isn’t the time to relive past issues or push difficult conversations.
7. Keep alcohol low-key—or out of the home if possible.
If you can’t remove alcohol, consider putting it away when it’s not being used.
8. Praise their progress.
Recovery is hard. Your encouragement matters more than you know.
Final Thoughts
Holiday relapse is common, understandable and preventable. With awareness, honest communication and strong planning, you can protect your recovery and still enjoy meaningful moments with family and friends. And if you’re a loved one supporting someone in recovery, your patience, understanding and steady presence can be one of the greatest gifts of the season.
Recovery isn’t about perfection—it’s about progress, support and staying connected.
With the right plan and the right people, the holidays can become a time of strength, hope, and healing.
Physician Mark Winsberg is an addiction medicine specialist and is the former medical director of Rochester Regional Health chemical dependency department. He now owns Medical Services, PLLC in Rochester. Contact him at drmark@winsbergmd.com or via text message at 585-565-5220. For more information, visit www.winsbergmd.com.