How the pandemic has shaped the way young teens think and act
By Deborah Jeanne Sergeant
During the pre-teen years, young people tend to develop much of their sense of self as they begin to identify less with their family and more with peers.
Youth who are young teens now had a stunted transition into their teen years as the pandemic curtailed many typical opportunities to interact with peers or else made them virtual experiences.
It’s unclear exactly how this different development will translate into how they relate to others in the future, but at this point, coming of age during the pandemic appears to mean many teens feel socially awkward at best.
“It’s exacerbated the already bigger levels of anxiety we’ve been seeing in teens and young adolescents,” said Ashley DiMino, licensed mental health counselor practicing in Rochester. “We were seeing higher levels before the pandemic and then two years of isolation gets in the way of their normal development.”
With few chances to practice interpersonal skills in normal settings, these young people feel less sure of themselves and less confident in their ability to navigate social situations. While DiMino feels pleased that teens are better able to access mental health services, the pandemic’s outcomes also mean that teens need more help. DiMino said that many worry more about death, divorce, their future and frightening world events.
Teens’ comfort with virtual interactions can help them operate effectively in an increasingly virtual world, where remote work and remote sessions become more mainstream; however, “we also need face-to-face skills,” DiMino said.
She encourages parents to prime the pump of their teens’ social abilities by asking open-ended questions about how they feel and how their day has gone. But avoid approaching teens from the perspective of knowing how they feel and what they need.
“It’s helpful to share their own experience about what the transition was like to go back to work and socializing,” DiMino said. “Emotion coaching can be helpful. Talk with other parents and lean on their experience. Do what you can to be stable and healthy. It’s like on a plane: put your own air mask on before you help someone else. Encourage the kids to join something, do something outside of their room.”
Although parents may feel concern about the long-term effects of the pandemic on their children, DiMino remains optimistic and believes that teens’ resilience will carry them through to a healthy adulthood.
“I think it’s too early to see what kind of major effect it will have,” she said. “There’s research on how it will affect their brains with high levels of cortisol. But it’s hard to say if it’s being a teen in 2024 or pandemic. The good news is that we’d use the same interventions whatever the causes.”
Another possible effect of the pandemic on teens is that fewer teens are having sex than before.
The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reports that in 2021, 30% of teens reported that they’ve ever had sex, a drop of 8% from 2019 and a sizable plunge from 30 years ago, when over half of teens said they’d had sex.
Naturally, during the quarantine hookups among teens weren’t possible. And children remaining home from school curtailed meeting other teens and developing romantic connections. But DiMino isn’t sure if less sex is related to the pandemic or overall shifts in teens’ mindset.
“I’m seeing such maturity out of current-day teenagers,” she said. “There’s less risk-taking behavior. I’m not sure what that means. Social media gets a bad rap, but kids have more access to information, and they see the risks of those behaviors. They are taking long-term thinking into account. Teens’ brains are wired for short-term thinking.”
She encourages any family worried about their teens’ behavior to seek professional help.
“The worst thing is you have a counseling session with your teen, and they say everything is normal,” DiMino said. “We’d rather do that than see someone who could’ve used support.”