Love Your Home: How to Create a Joyful Space for One

Practical tips‭, ‬advice and hope for those who live alone

By Gwenn Voelckers

 

In 1993, I purchased the home I still live in today.

At the closing, I became the proud owner of someone else’s dream home, complete with bright green shag carpet, a Pepto Bismal pink powder room and lacy bedroom curtains hanging in the living room.

What was I thinking?!

But I was convinced of the home’s potential and began a gradual, thoughtful and very rewarding process of making this home my own.

Looking back, I now realize that creating a home that is joyful, inspiring and uniquely mine was one of the most empowering things I did for myself after my divorce.

It was an essential part of starting my life over as a woman on her own.

If you are now living alone — whether due to a divorce, the loss of a partner or some other major life change — know that, while daunting, a fresh start can be incredibly liberating.

Designing your space for the person you are now, not the person you used to be, can support your journey toward happiness and fulfillment.

Let your home be your launchpad for the next phase of your life.

So, how do you design a space that reflects your singular style and spirit, especially if you are navigating life on your own for the first time?

Here are some insights and tips that have helped me along the way.

 

Surround Yourself with Things that Bring You Joy

Intuitively, I knew I needed to walk through my new front door and into my very own “warm embrace,” a place where I would be surrounded and uplifted by all things familiar and friendly.

So, I set out to create a retreat — a personal sanctuary where I could feel safe and sound, inspired and creative.

One of the first things I did when I bought my home (after I tore out the green shag carpet) was to frame and display photographs of family and friends. I wanted to see their faces when I entered a room, to be reminded of good times and the love that surrounds me.

In addition to photos, I adorned my living space with original pieces of art (now more boho!) and artifacts or souvenirs I collected on my travels. These cherished mementos and images lifted my spirits back then and continue to do so.

I encourage you to surround yourself with treasured items that reinforce both who you are and who you want to become. Whether it’s art, books you love, fresh flowers or a favorite blanket, infuse your space with décor and possessions that make you smile.

 

Let Go of Everything that Doesn’t “Spark Joy”

Japanese author and organizer Marie Kondo’s famous phrase, “Does it spark joy?” became my mantra when I started the process of decluttering.

As she instructed, I took a deep breath and asked myself: “Does this truly make me happy? Does this piece of furniture, these old clothes, or that vase from my wedding still bring me joy?”

It was hard at first. There were items that carried sentimental value or that I thought I should keep because “that’s what you do.” But once I embraced the idea of letting go of anything that didn’t spark joy, I felt an incredible weight lift off my shoulders.

If an object doesn’t bring you joy, let it go. By clearing your space of things that no longer align with who you are today, you make room for the things that truly do resonate with the person you aspire to be.

 

Tidy Up

I’ll get to the point: Anything that makes you feel bad when you look at it should be thrown out, donated or repaired. Ratty dishtowels, old lampshades and faded curtains, for example, can dampen your mood and erode your self-esteem.

Don’t underestimate the negative power of unsightly or outdated objects.

I walked into my kitchen last week and cringed (for the 100th time) when I looked at my faded and frayed kitchen mat. I threw it out and grabbed a small oriental rug from my guest bedroom to put in its place.

It looks and works great! Yes, it’s a little unconventional for the kitchen, but I feel good every time I see it.

What took me so long? I need to follow my own advice!

 

Create Spaces That Inspire, Lift You Up and Nurture Personal Growth

One of the most powerful things about living alone is that you have the freedom to design your home exactly how you want it. No compromises, no negotiations. You get to choose every color, every piece of furniture and every layout.

Over the years, I’ve come to realize that my home is more than just a place to live — it’s a place that inspires and supports my continuously evolving self.

For example, as my passion for music grew, my home gradually transformed into a tangible expression of this newfound love.

My living room now sports my drum kit, bongos and assorted percussion instrument. Again, unconventional, but it reflects who I am today.

Designing spaces in your home that nurture your growth — whether it’s a meditation corner, a cozy writing desk or a place for artistic expression — can help you move forward.

Creating a home that is joyful, authentic and aligned with your true self is one of the most empowering things you can do for yourself.

Remember, you are not defined by your past, your circumstances or your former relationships. Your home can become an oasis of creativity and independence — a place that’s unconditionally yours, absent of compromise. Claim it.

Once you make your personal space your own, there’s no place like home!


Gwenn Voelckers is the author of “Alone and Content,” a collection of inspiring essays for those who live alone. She welcomes your comments about this column and topic suggestions for future columns at gvoelckers@rochester.rr.com